Fear. You know that piercing terror（恐怖） in your heart that makes you feel like you're gasping（倒抽气） for air? Kind of like I feel standing on this stage right now. That's what I felt when I saw this coming for me at Mavericks. That's a wave two stories high, 20 minutes south of where I live in San Francisco. And while technically（技术上） I could run off this stage right now, at the moment I snapped（突然折断） this picture, that wasn't an option.
I was swimming with a 20-pound camera, sealed（封） in a watertight（水密的） housing（房屋）, strapped（捆扎） to my wrist（腕） with a Velcro leash, swim fins strapped to my ankles, dolphin kicking as fast as I could to try and escape the impact zone（地区）, where the wave was about to detonate. In the meantime（其时）, that wave was doing nothing but marching（（坚定地向某地）前进） forward fast. So I had a choice. Do I let fear overcome（克服） me, hyperventilate, and possibly die? Or do I simply stop, take deep breath, and do what I normally do when I dive（跳水（的动作）） under smaller waves? That day I chose the deep breath.
I remembered my lifetime（一生） of building strength as a swimmer, water polo（马球） player, body surfer, lifeguard, and surfer. But this wave was massive（厚重的）. I was entering unknown（未知的） territory（领土）. Still, I knew the basic principles（原理）, stay calm, dive early, dive deep, and wait for the turbulence to pass. Here's a video of me on a boat after emerging（显现） from my first deep dive（跳水（的动作）） at Mavericks. So how was it?
That was my first time diving one in a whole lot. So now I know it can be done. We live in a world full of perpetual（ 持续的） change and terrifying（ 恐怖的） unknowns. A lot of people find the ocean scary for exactly those reasons. It's big, it's strong, it's deep, it's constantly（不断地） moving, and there are sharks. It's natural to fear something so mysterious（神秘的） that most of us can't even see.
But for me, it's like being in a cosmic（宇宙的） washing machine. A galaxy（星系） of wilds where I can explore the ocean floor in the view from the top of a giant wave. It's a universe（ 宇宙） that invites me to explore myself. It's become my ritual（仪式的）, being held by a force over which I have no control. I have no idea what's coming next. I do know what's coming could kill me, but in those moments I've learned to remain calm, trust（相信） myself, and surrender（使投降）.
The weight of 15 big rig（索具装备） trucks presses down on me, but that passes. And when I get my head above water, I look for the magic, the beauty in the chaos（混乱） through the lens（透镜） of my camera. I love sharing that magic on land, and I've depended on those lessons of surrender that build my trust and show me unimaginable（想不到的） beauty in order to thrive（兴旺） in the face of life's challenges on land. These lessons from the ocean have helped me to manage a bipolar one diagnosis（诊断） after two traumatic（外伤的） long hospitalizations. The ocean helped me to surrender to the grief（悲痛） of losing my mom to ovarian cancer（癌症） when I was 19. It helped my husband and me to literally（照字面地） get on the same wavelength（[物] 波长） when we were on a road trip along the Pacific（太平洋） coast of the Americas from LA to Chile on a baby-making sabbatical.
That baby is actually here today, and her name is Nami, which means wave in Japanese. The ocean gave me the courage（勇气） to get the BRCA1 genetic（遗传的） test to see if I had the same cancer（癌症） risk as my mom. And when I tested positive, the ocean gave me the physical and mental strength to get a double mastectomy and total hysterectomy. It helped me to surrender to that familiar frenetic（发狂的） fear of the unknown（未知的） when doctors told me I had a 2-millimeter（(millimetre)毫米） tumor growing in my fallopian tubes. The ocean gave me life when chemotherapy sucked（吸） it out of me. And the ocean has led me to the story of my career.
She changed a documentary about four of the best female big wave surfers in the world and their fight for pay equity（公平） in one of the most dangerous sports on earth. I get to swim in rarefied waters with these world champions, Keala Kennelly, Paige Alms, Andrea Muller, and Bianca Valenti, who joined forces to lobby（对……进行游说） for equal representation（代表） and equal pay and big wave surfing, and who catalyzed（ 促使） equal pay in the World Surf League（同盟）, the first US-based sports league in history to do so. And yet another lesson from the ocean. The ocean doesn't discriminate（歧视）, so why should we? The ocean offers the same waves to surfers of all genders（性别）. It doesn't care about race, class, or ability.
The ocean welcomes all of us equally. It actually connects us all. That's something that I learned from legendary（传说的） Hawaiian surfer and water safety expert Brian Keolana. He likes to remind people that we are not separated by land, we are connected by water. In fact, every drop of water that's saliva you're feeling in your mouth right now - it came from a collective（集体的） body of water that all living things on this planet have shared and recycled for as long as this world has lived. Think about that.
Around 70% of the earth is covered by water, and around 70% of our body is water. Some, like you today, are lucky to have the ocean so close. But we can all access it anytime（任何时候） we want, because the ocean lives inside each one of us. At any moment, you can conjure（ 召唤） the calming sound of waves, which might help you to surrender, simply by breathing the air we've also shared for millennia. That terrible news about a friend that you're carrying in your heart, the work project that's not going as planned, the grip（紧握） of pain from our world in conflict（争论）, the realization（实现） that fear has taken control. To help, let's try this simple exercise that I'd like to thank the Irish scientist, author, and surfer, Dr.Iski Brittonfor from her book, "Ebb（退） and Flow."
Let's all fill our bellies with air as we breathe in through our nose, and create the sound of crashing（碰撞） waves as we breathe out of our mouths. Now it's your turn. Breathe in deeply（深刻地） through your nose, and breathe out of your mouth. Now let's all create one big wave, breathe in and out, together. Listen to the ocean inside of you. Life's traumas（[医] 外伤） can feel bigger than a wave at Mavericks.
Surrender to the turbulence. It's okay to wipe（擦） out. Let the ocean within you fight for what is important to you. Stay calm. Believe in yourself. Keep your eyes open and look for the light, because in that turbulence, you will find the greatest moments of magic and beauty along the way.
Thank you.