I had been a secondary（第二的） math teacher for five years, but in 1989 I was a stay-at-home mom with four very busy children. Amy was 13, Jacob 11, Trevor 10, and Carmen was 8 years old. Our kids were very happily engaged（使从事于） in after-school programs, brownies, gymnastics（训练课程）, dance, basketball, football, hockey, soccer, sleepovers, and fun. I went on every school field trip and I was president of Jacob School PTA. On October 22, 1989, my husband Jerry and I were invited to dinner at a friend's house when our neighbor called to tell us to come home. He told us that our 11-year-old son, Jacob, had been kidnapped（ 绑架） by a masked gunman one half mile from our house.
He had to hang（挂） up. He was calling the police. Just like that, my life would never be the same. My world had always been about children, but seeing the sadness and fear in our own kids' eyes was more than my spirit（ 精神） could handle（拿）. I just so badly wanted to take it all away, but I couldn't. After a few days of investigation（调查）, defeated（战胜） and sleep-deprived（剥夺）, I crawled（爬） into bed and I decided I'm never going to get out of this bed.
It hurts too much. It's too hard. I can't do this anymore. And I suddenly saw Jacob curled（卷曲） up in a ball saying the same things. I can't do this anymore. It's too hard.
They're never going to find me. And I sat up and screamed（尖叫）, "Hold on, Jacob. We will find you, but you have to stay strong." And at that point, I got out of bed. It felt like I envisioned（想象） our house on stilts（高跷）. It was like（喜欢） somebody had knocked the stilts（高跷） right out from under us. We had to figure（ 认为） out how to navigate（驾驶） our way through this new world.
I learned that the motive（动机） behind kidnapping was for sexual（性的） purposes. Who would do that? I just couldn't understand. I knew that I had to make a decision. After seeing Jacob curled up in a ball, I knew I had to get out of bed. That was the first of many decisions I made early on and throughout（遍及） the next 34 years of searching.
I knew I couldn't live in the darkness（黑暗）, so I sought（寻找） light wherever（无论在哪里） I could. And I vowed（发誓） that while I was searching for Jacob, I would continue to work to build a world that values（评价） children and cares for them and protects them.